I have a couple minor English grammar corrections to suggest:
"... An attacker with read access to the services' logs may obtain passwords used as a parameter of a command that has failed or when mask_password did not mask passwords properly."
Aside from that, the impact description looks fine. The products header is conflated with our usual versions header, but as this is for different versions of two projects that is probably unavoidable.
I have a couple minor English grammar corrections to suggest:
"... An attacker with read access to the services' logs may obtain passwords used as a parameter of a command that has failed or when mask_password did not mask passwords properly."
Aside from that, the impact description looks fine. The products header is conflated with our usual versions header, but as this is for different versions of two projects that is probably unavoidable.