18.04 Headphones detected, but not switched on automatically after startup

Been this way since at least 15.

Plug in your headphones, boot up your laptop. No sound. Speakers and headphones are disabled. Super annoying, you have to unplug and re-plug, and go through the stupid dialogue of "what are you trying to plug in?" which has no memory, and no defaults.

Please, please, please, fix this Ubuntu team!

ProblemType: Bug
DistroRelease: Ubuntu 18.04
Package: pulseaudio 1:11.1-1ubuntu7.1
ProcVersionSignature: Ubuntu 4.15.0-22.24-generic 4.15.17
Uname: Linux 4.15.0-22-generic x86_64
ApportVersion: 2.20.9-0ubuntu7.1
Architecture: amd64
AudioDevicesInUse:
 USER PID ACCESS COMMAND
 /dev/snd/controlC0: tom 1369 F.... pulseaudio
CurrentDesktop: ubuntu:GNOME
Date: Wed Jun 6 02:28:13 2018
InstallationDate: Installed on 2018-04-26 (41 days ago)
InstallationMedia: Ubuntu 18.04 LTS "Bionic Beaver" - Alpha amd64 (20180228)
ProcEnviron:
 TERM=xterm-256color
 PATH=(custom, no user)
 XDG_RUNTIME_DIR=<set>
 LANG=en_US.UTF-8
 SHELL=/bin/bash
SourcePackage: pulseaudio
UpgradeStatus: No upgrade log present (probably fresh install)
dmi.bios.date: 03/28/2018
dmi.bios.vendor: Dell Inc.
dmi.bios.version: 1.9.1
dmi.board.name: 0JHP5H
dmi.board.vendor: Dell Inc.
dmi.board.version: A00
dmi.chassis.type: 10
dmi.chassis.vendor: Dell Inc.
dmi.modalias: dmi:bvnDellInc.:bvr1.9.1:bd03/28/2018:svnDellInc.:pnXPS159560:pvr:rvnDellInc.:rn0JHP5H:rvrA00:cvnDellInc.:ct10:cvr:
dmi.product.family: XPS
dmi.product.name: XPS 15 9560
dmi.sys.vendor: Dell Inc.
modified.conffile..etc.xdg.autostart.pulseaudio.desktop: [modified]
mtime.conffile..etc.xdg.autostart.pulseaudio.desktop: 2018-05-26T14:25:02.708160