Chromium is Crashing on Launch

On a freshly installed, and fully updated Ubuntu 16.04.2, the Chromium browser is crashing upon launch.

I have no extensions installed, but for some reason it will launch from the command line with this command:
chromium-browser --disable-extensions

Others are confirming this:
https://askubuntu.com/questions/932446/chromium-crashes-in-seconds

ProblemType: Bug
DistroRelease: Ubuntu 16.04
Package: chromium-browser 59.0.3071.109-0ubuntu0.16.04.1289
ProcVersionSignature: Ubuntu 4.8.0-58.63~16.04.1-generic 4.8.17
Uname: Linux 4.8.0-58-generic x86_64
ApportVersion: 2.20.1-0ubuntu2.6
Architecture: amd64
CurrentDesktop: Unity
DRM.card0-HDMI-A-1:
 enabled: disabled
 dpms: Off
 status: disconnected
 edid-base64:
 modes:
DRM.card0-LVDS-1:
 enabled: enabled
 dpms: On
 status: connected
 edid-base64: AP///////wANrwAYAAAAACgSAQOAKRd4Csy1p1RFlyYWUFQAAAABAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBKTaAoHA4H0AwIDUAmOYQAAAYAAAA/gBOMTg0SDQtTDAxCiAgAAAA/gBDTU8KICAgICAgICAgAAAA/gBOMTg0SDQtTDAxCiAgAKA=
 modes: 1920x1080 1680x1050 1400x1050 1280x1024 1280x960 1152x864 1024x768 800x600 640x480 720x400 640x400 640x350
DRM.card0-VGA-1:
 enabled: disabled
 dpms: Off
 status: disconnected
 edid-base64:
 modes:
Date: Thu Jul 6 23:40:58 2017
Desktop-Session:
 'ubuntu'
 '/etc/xdg/xdg-ubuntu:/usr/share/upstart/xdg:/etc/xdg'
 '/usr/share/ubuntu:/usr/share/gnome:/usr/local/share/:/usr/share/:/var/lib/snapd/desktop'
DetectedPlugins:

Env:
 'None'
 'None'
InstallationDate: Installed on 2017-07-07 (0 days ago)
InstallationMedia: Ubuntu 16.04.2 LTS "Xenial Xerus" - Release amd64 (20170215.2)
Load-Avg-1min: 0.29
Load-Processes-Running-Percent: 0.2%
MachineType: Hewlett-Packard HP Pavilion dv8 Notebook PC
ProcKernelCmdLine: BOOT_IMAGE=/boot/vmlinuz-4.8.0-58-generic root=UUID=39b29b17-07a9-405c-b8ae-0d011935bd53 ro quiet splash vt.handoff=7
SourcePackage: chromium-browser
UpgradeStatus: No upgrade log present (probably fresh install)
dmi.bios.date: 05/31/2010
dmi.bios.vendor: Hewlett-Packard
dmi.bios.version: F.25
dmi.board.asset.tag: Base Board Asset Tag
dmi.board.name: 7001
dmi.board.vendor: Hewlett-Packard
dmi.board.version: 35.35
dmi.chassis.type: 10
dmi.chassis.vendor: Hewlett-Packard
dmi.chassis.version: N/A
dmi.modalias: dmi:bvnHewlett-Packard:bvrF.25:bd05/31/2010:svnHewlett-Packard:pnHPPaviliondv8NotebookPC:pvr0499220000241210001040000:rvnHewlett-Packard:rn7001:rvr35.35:cvnHewlett-Packard:ct10:cvrN/A:
dmi.product.name: HP Pavilion dv8 Notebook PC
dmi.product.version: 0499220000241210001040000
dmi.sys.vendor: Hewlett-Packard
modified.conffile..etc.default.chromium-browser: [deleted]